Every parent wants the best for their child and want to help them develop good behavior and learn positive habits. But how can you as parent, develop this kind of behavior and at the same time have a positive relationship with your kids?
You can find many parenting tips online, but through studies it shows that the best parenting style to encourage good behavior is “positive parenting“. But how does it work?
What is positive parenting?
When embracing positive parenting, instead of harsh discipline and punishment for your child’s misbehavior, you focus on positive discipline. This might not come easy at first, but if you keep in mind the following 4 guidelines it will become easier through time:
- Be consistent;
- Create a nurturing environment;
- Learn about child development;
- Remember that your end goal is to raise a fully functional adult.
When your child misbehaves, focus on developing the desired behavior rather than punishing the child. Children will test the limits and push boundaries, so be consistent and set boundaries.
Setting Boundaries
Setting boundaries and family rules, helps your child understand what are the consequences if family rules are broken. Communicating these rules clearly avoids misunderstandings and let’s your child know where they stand. But what happens if family rules are broken? How can positive parenting play an important role? Let’s set a practical example:
A 10 year old boy, goes to his father with a problem. The 10 year old friend, took his ice cream along with the change. The 10 year old wants to confront the other boy, but requested that his father be with him. The father listens attentively and repeats to the child the issue. The father refrains from mentioning that the child took the money from the piggy bank without permission, which goes against the family rules. Nor does the father mention, that the child was restricted from having sweets, since he had already had sweets for the day. The father accompanies, the 10 year old as he confronts the other child. The latter’s father overhears the conversation and makes the child give back not only the change but all the money for pain and suffering. The 10 year old father, tells how proud he is and then sits and discusses the two house rules that were broken. To this he adds a week of no sweets and confiscates the money refunded by the other child and the piggy bank for a month. Two weeks later the sweets were reinstated and go to the 10 year old’s favorite ice cream place.
An important aspect about the above example, is that the father listened to the child’s problem and the situation being faced with. He does not focus on the wrongdoing done by the child. Notwithstanding, the father does not ignore the wrongdoing of his son and talks about them at the appropriate time. The father ensures that his son experiences the consequences of the wrongdoing, but after the consequences are done, enforces the relationship between father and son.
Benefits of Positive Parenting
But what are the benefits positive parenting?
- More effective communication
In positive parenting, communication is essential, as it encourages children express their feelings. Good communication develops a relationship of trust between the parent and the child. Normally parental tips focus on how to talk to children, whilst positive parenting encourages listen to your children and allow them to express their feelings. Good communication and trust between parents and children, comes very useful especially when children grow older and might not want their parents in that phase of the life but still manage to communicate openly.
- Helps self-esteem and happiness
If there is good communication and a trust relationship between the parents and children, inevitably it means that there is a greater level of happiness and self-esteem.
- Negative behavior diminishes
As mentioned above, positive parenting still requires that you set out boundaries and limits for your children. At one point in their lives, children will tend to get away with bad behavior and for parents it can be a continual struggle but when you are focusing on offering positive alternatives, the negative behavior diminishes. Your children will soon learn the consequences of negative behavior.
Parenting in general is not an easy task. Positive Parenting gives children a positive outlook towards life and how to overcome obstacles. Ultimately, it is all about creating a loving, positive and supportive environment to your children which allows them to grow into responsible adults.